How Pre-Marriage Counseling Can Benefit You
Updated January 03, 2020
Medically Reviewed By: Dawn Brown
In most situations, rushing to marriage is never a good thing. You want to know your partner and learn both the good and the bad they have to offer before you tie the knot. A rushed marriage can mean a miserable marriage or one that ends in divorce. You may not know all the quirks or disagreements your partner has until you're married, and this can lead to problems. Thankfully, pre-marital counseling can help couples figure out how they want to live their lives.
What Is Pre-Marital Counseling?
Pre-Marital counseling is a counseling service that is for couples who are planning to marry but want to resolve any issues they have before the marriage. Pre-Marital counseling used to be something that only the religious did. Their religious leaders have offered counseling sessions for couples in the church who want to be married. However, secular couples can benefit from pre-marital counseling as well and are realizing the importance of it. Many licensed therapists offer pre-marital counseling, and for a good reason. Pre-Marital counseling is for any couple who wants to succeed in their marriage.
Here are some reasons why pre-marital counseling is good for any couple.
Helps End Miscommunications
There are many couples whose relationships fail because of miscommunications. Even if the two of you think you know each other, miscommunications can happen. Any person can misinterpret what you say and think you have ill intent. Or you may want your partner to do something, but the communication just isn't working.
Some people think their needs are being expressed, but they aren't communicating them well enough, and then they get upset when the miscommunications happen. No matter what the reason, miscommunications will happen, but pre-marital counseling can help reduce them and teach you how to resolve a miscommunication. Pre-Marital counseling teaches you how to talk to your partner and express your needs.
It's also a great place to help understand the root of the conflicts that are happening. Conflicts tend to happen, but if you do sit down with a pre-marital counselor, it will allow you to analyze what causes the issues, and what you can do to prevent this. It gives the couples a chance to learn how to communicate better, and also create conflict resolution skills that will make their life easier.
A Better Mind About Marriage
One thing that many people have when they're about to get married is fear of marriage. Maybe they love the person, but in their heads, they hear the saying "marriage is the end of the road." Perhaps the individual knows those who believe this, and they don't want that to happen. Well, pre-marital counseling allows for the couple to sit down, and create a positive outlook on marriage, and have a good attitude at the get-go before you start the adventure.
It's important that when you do this, you do bring your own experience and history, and even opinions into this. It may not be gen with what your partner says. Sometimes, the religious beliefs and the family dynamic itself might be much different, and the upbringings may play a part in this. Perhaps the people that you see as role models have shaped what you view your relationship, or even marriage as.
Lots of times, people think that all their needs will be magically fulfilled when they do this. But here's the thing: relationships and marriages are what you make of it, and by discussing these expectations that might be there before you hit the altar, you'll be able to understand your partner better, and in turn, offer much support before you do get married. It's a way to make marriage something positive, and something that you certainly will want to achieve.
It Provides An Opportunity To Address Issues
This is used to help couples fix problems in their marriage before it becomes worse, problems that could lead to divorce. This allows couples to settle different arguments with a counselor that may affect their marriage, whether it be monetary issues, or even disagreements about the future, such as whether or not they should have kids.
Talking about these issues before marriage happens is ultimately the best means to create a good springboard to push forward on, and can help prevent really bad conflicts from happening. Couples need to come in with a candid mindset so that they can fix issues, and there is a reason why many have been choosing to use this type of counseling for many years.
It Helps Couples Plan The Future
Many pre-marital counselors do more than just help couples talk through their current issues. They also help them plan actively for the future. For example, pre-marital counseling helps couples set goals that they hope to achieve with their finances, allowing the couple a chance to figure out how they can attain each of the goals they set out. pre-marital counseling is great for discussing what the expectations they may have currently are, and what they hope to get out of their marriage and future as well. It gives them time to give themselves goals, and to change anything in their relationship before saying "I do."
Talking to someone that's experienced married is a great benefit as well. When you speak to a pre-marital counselor, you're getting wisdom on marriage because they've experienced this before. It's more than just sharing experiences and life lessons that they may have read before, but instead, it's actual real-life lessons. Many times, pre-marital counselors understand the struggles of trusting your partner, intimacy, and the hurdles of finances that happen to younger couples especially. They can give good advice, and also encourage people to get better as well.
It Lets Couples Discover New Things About Them
Counselors ask a lot of questions when they're working with engaged couples. Listening allows the couple to understand their partner better and gives them a chance to learn more about who the partner is. Often, many couples assume that nobody knows them better than their partners, so they may not be as excited to go to counseling since they presume that they're fine.
But, lots of times partners have uncomfortable subjects and information, things they might not want to share with their partner for whatever reason. Whether it's embarrassment or what, talking with a counselor can have them face these demons, and it allows better growth and more opportunities to understand your partner, something many couples need to understand. Understanding your partner is essential to success, and it gives you a chance to learn more about one another as well.
By doing this, a couple will be able to grow, and it's an opportunity to build a strong foundation, and it allows the couple to learn more about one another. Sometimes as well, you may talk to a counselor and learn more about yourself through your partner. It's also a space that many individuals will utilize to talk about issues they might have or various aspects that make them nervous with their partner, and they can do so in an environment that won't upset the partner. It's especially. Good for those that have been in a multitude of relationships that have not gone so hot in the past, and they want this one to be successful.
Remember that pre-marital counseling is for all couples. Even if the couple has been together for a couple of years or many years, you can benefit from this. If you do therapy for marriages and families, one of the best services that you can offer is pre-marital counseling, since it gives many people a good foundation to build their relationship up, and it's a great way to create a clientele base. It also allows you to impart some of the knowledge that you've gained yourself about marriage to other people because it'll help them have a much better, more successful marriage.
How To Seek It Out!
You can seek out a pre-marital counselor, and from this, both you and your partner will go in, sit down, and start the adventure. It usually involves a questionnaire initially so you can figure out the strengths, weaknesses, and any potential hurdles that you may have to overcome. You'll then sit down with the counselor, and you, along with your partner and counselor, will look at the results and discuss the trouble spots, allowing you to put together goals, and get over the challenges as well. The counselor might also bring in some questions from your partner as well, allowing you to modify the desires better, and sometimes any qualms and issues, that may come from your marriage.
When it comes to marriage, you can never be too prepared. While it is an adventure, being ready to face the unknown is imperative, and by getting into pre-marital counseling, you'll be able to create a solid foundation and be able to have a lasting relationship. Good marriages are built on solid foundations, so definitely keep that in mind too.