How Can Transference Focused Psychotherapy Help Someone?

Transference is a phenomenon found in psychotherapy, and it is one that can reveal a lot about you. It is a Freudian theory that is interesting to both study and observe in real time. Once you learn the meaning of transference, you may be wondering if there are times in your life when you transfer your feelings onto someone else. Conversely, you may look back on times when someone could have been transferring emotions onto you.

Ahead, we will define transference from a psychological standpoint and review many of the contexts in which people might engage in transference as a defense mechanism. While many types of therapy can help people identify negative coping mechanisms, transference-focused therapy is centered on addressing transference, in particular. It’s possible to engage in transference-focused psychotherapy both in-person and online, and we’ll share the most up-to-date research that can help you make the best decision for your mental health.

What Is Transference?

In psychotherapy, transference is when someone places their feelings about someone or wishes onto someone else. That someone else usually involves a loved one, a supervisor, or even a therapist. Some may view a therapist like a parent, a colleague, or a friend. These feelings need to be monitored by the therapist, as countertransference is always possible. More on that in a minute. 

So how does transference occur in everyday settings – such as at home or work? Transference can occur in part because of events that happened in your childhood. Like many aspects of psychotherapy, one’s childhood can reveal a lot about who a person is today. You may transfer how you were treated as a child to your own children. If you have an ex who broke up with you, you may transfer distrust to anyone who resembles them. Unfair? Sure, but that’s how transference works. 

Freud first popularized transference. In his book “Studies on Hysteria,” published at the end of the 19th century, he stated that people sometimes place their feelings about someone else onto a different person. While many of Freud’s theories have been disregarded, transference is one that is still observable and pertinent to all of our relationships.

have been disregarded, transference is one that is still observable and pertinent to all of our relationships.

What Are The Main Types Of Transference?

Paternal Transference

Paternal transference is when someone looks to someone else as their father and transfers feelings they would have for their father onto the other person. This can come in the form of being in close proximity to an older man, usually someone in authority to you, and assigning them characteristics of your father that they do not necessarily hold themselves. 

Alternatively, you could engage in paternal transference toward an older male mentor. Someone who never knew their father might find someone else to fill that role. If your father was not present or even worse, abusive, you might find yourself feeling hatred towards an older authority figure. In this example, you have come to associate authority with negative characteristics, and anyone who displays those characteristics may provoke the same reaction you feel when you were around your father. If you or someone you know is experiencing any form of abuse, you can reach out discreetly to the National Domestic Violence Hotline website or call the 24/7 phone number 800-799-7233. Professionals are available to assist you depending on your needs.

Maternal Transference

Similar to paternal transference, maternal transference involves treating someone like a motherly figure. You can view an older woman in your life – perhaps a colleague, supervisor, or neighbor – as nurturing, loving, and a source of comfort. If you had a problematic childhood and adversarial experiences with a female authority figure or caregiver, you might view females in authority as cold and distant or even cruel. Paternal and maternal transference relies on traditional gender roles, although some people may view the concept of mother and father much differently.

Sibling Transference

Ever viewed someone like a brother or sister? They could be a good friend or a younger person within your department at work, perhaps someone who has helped you out? It is possible to engage in sibling transference. Sibling transference can happen when you are an only child who wants to have a sibling bond or are not satisfied with your current relationship with your siblings. 

Therapy Transference

Therapy is one of the places where transference can occur. Your therapist can be anyone. They can be male, female, younger, older; the list goes on. You can view your therapist as your parent, lover, or quite a few other archetypes. If someone has romantic feelings towards their provider, the therapist-client relationship may be compromised, but resolving these same romantic frustrations with someone else can help you move on with your other relationships.

Some clients may not view the therapist as a source of wisdom but rather as an antagonist. They may be aggressive and say hurtful things to their therapist. The therapist needs to maintain their composure and realize that this is part of why they are there in the first place. They need to inform the client of what is going on and allow them to be more self-aware. This can help the client realize where their feelings are coming from and display their feelings healthier than transferring them onto someone else.

Countertransference – when a therapist transfers their feelings onto a client – can also occur. For example, if the client views the therapist like a parent and has had severe parental issues, they may view the client like their child. A therapist needs to stay neutral about their client and not be susceptible to countertransference. Most good therapists won’t counter-transfer, but a therapist who has less experience may be susceptible. 

After all, providing therapy involves being empathetic, and some therapists will succumb to the empathy, especially if they have their own problems. A therapist needs to be mindful of this concept of countertransference and put any personal feelings they have to the side. Understanding their own personal countertransference can be a useful tool for the therapist, but they need to be very aware of their professional position and the obvious power differential.

How To Treat Transference 

Transference happens because we are a species that likes to generalize and see patterns. If we have an unpleasant experience with one group of people, it can be comforting to transfer those feelings onto people who have similar traits. This is how we cope, and when someone has no self-awareness, they will not be able to recognize this faulty pattern. 

Let’s consider an example. If someone who looks like your ex-partner makes you happy, you can learn not to judge them based on similar appearances but by their character’s content. A therapist might prompt you to consider why you would be upset at them just for looking like someone else. Plenty of humans have similarities. A therapist can point out when you are transferring, and you can learn how to treat it. 

In client-centered therapy, the client does the talking while the therapist only acts as a guide, it is also worth knowing solution-focused therapy that can help a person out by focusing on the solutions available instead of dwelling on the issue or challenge.

In TF or transference-focused psychotherapy, your therapist would help you identify the transference behaviors in real time. Your counselor can help you regain control of your life and change unwanted and destructive behaviors. To treat transference, a client needs to identify certain triggers. With the whole ex-situation, how someone smells or wears their hair may affect the client’s transfer. The client needs to be more mindful, and if they experience feelings because of one’s scent, they need to reel themselves back in and realize that these feelings are not logical. Then the client can evaluate someone based on logic and emotion rather than irrelevant patterns.

Counselors may utilize various techniques in transference-focused therapy, including some described below:

• Parts work – addressing distinct aspects of one’s personality (such as a tendency to become confrontational) and understanding where the pattern came from, then working to befriend that “part” of ourselves and assign it a new, more empowering “job”
• Integration – merging various parts of oneself together as a whole
• Boundary-setting – role playing what behaviors are appropriate and which may be considered inappropriate

Transference can be used in therapy in positive, useful ways. The client can get their feelings out, and they do not realize that the feelings are, in fact, unconscious. This can allow them to heal once they are made aware of their unconscious feelings. The therapist can point out how the unconscious feelings they have can also affect the client. The therapist will also look for possible triggers that can end up reinforcing transference.

Online Transference-Focused Therapy – Does It Work?

Perhaps you’ve recognized a tendency in yourself to transfer emotions or desires onto others and you understand that there’s a current unhealthy relationship dynamic in your life. It could be that the boundaries your personal and professional relationship with a supervisor have become unclear or compromised, and you want help asserting what’s appropriate and what’s not. 

In other cases, maybe you’re concerned that your current partner is only with you because you remind them so much of their deceased mother or a previous girlfriend who broke up with them. An online therapist is a great resource to use to ask questions about any topic in the field of psychology in order to gain more information. There’s no need to travel to an in-person therapist’s office to gain support, and online therapy platforms like MyTherapist enable users to book virtual therapy sessions at convenient times.

It's important to know that transference, in and of itself, is not a mental health condition. If someone engages in frequent transference, however, that could be one siding leading to a potential disorder. Transference is often observed in the behavior of people who are diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD). 

Some people living with BPD experience “splitting” or an all-or-nothing type of thinking, where they struggle to see more nuanced and complex pictures of themselves and others. An online transference-focused therapist, interestingly, can use the concept of transference in a positive way – to build a therapeutic alliance – in order to help the client identify their own defense mechanisms and triggers.

Various studies have affirmed the effectiveness of transference-focused psychotherapy in treating people with borderline personality disorder. In comparing TFP to dialectical behavioral therapy and dynamic supportive treatment, researchers uncovered that while all three treatment modalities demonstrated reductions in participants’ symptoms of depression, anxiety, and social adjustment, TFP alone showed decreases in irritability and verbal assault.

Like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), all aspects of transference-focused psychotherapy can be completed online by a licensed counselor. A very recent 2022 review of 11 studies about online interventions for personality disorders uncovered that online therapy is not only more accessible than in-person therapy, but that its effectiveness was on par with face-to-face counseling.

Takeaway

As you have observed, transference seems like something that can be good, but it can also have detrimental effects. Treating someone badly because they look like your ex is not a good thing for them or for you. They may look like your ex, but they are a different person. Discounting someone’s worth in your life (as a potential friend or colleague) before you even get to know them could keep you from experiencing real feelings of joy, connection, and contentment. 

With that said, transferring can be good, too. Seeing someone as a wise authority figure can help you when you are looking for advice or need someone to talk to. They can help you fill the void that was left behind if you lost or drifted away from someone who used to occupy that role. 

If you’re concerned about how someone in your life may be transferring their emotions onto you, or you know you’re viewing someone in a certain role inappropriately, you can trust the experienced and compassionate mental health counselors at MyTherapist to listen to you nonjudgmentally and offer guidance. It is possible to change negative thought patterns and set boundaries, potentially paving the way for exciting possibilities and relationships in life.

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