What Are The Main Aspects Of Family Counseling?

If you are having conflict within your family, there is no shame in seeking an outside professional to help you repair your relationships. Family counseling helps those who are having problems which can potentially damage the overall well-being of the family. These problems can include mental health problems, transitions in life, and other interpersonal conflicts between or among family members. In this post, we will discuss the various reasons why family therapy can be right for you.

What is family counseling?

Family therapy involves counseling the entire family when it comes to an issue or cluster of issues. The family members can be talked to individually, in a group, or a combination of all the above. In family therapy sessions, the counselor will use a range of techniques to assist family members in naming and expressing their emotions, building effective communication skills, and learning how to cope in the face of adversity.

Family therapy gained traction in the 20th century, alongside the emergence of psychoanalytic theory. It was not until the 1950s that family therapy became highly popular as a support method. Family therapy psychiatrists like Murray Bowen proposed that a person’s mental health and behavior were significantly influenced by the dynamics of their family system, and that it was essential to have a full grasp of the system’s intricacies in order to provide the most efficacious treatment.

How can family counseling help?

Since the 1970s, the number of people seeking marriage and/or family therapy has increased 50-fold. On any given day, family counselors treat more than 1.8 million people for a variety of issues. You may be wondering what types of challenges family therapy aims to resolve. It can treat quite a few problems, including common issues below.

Divorce

Divorce is something that can change the family in many extreme ways. The child may feel like the divorce is their fault or may be confused about why their parents are no longer together. Also, divorce can change the dynamic of the family. Family counseling is designed to understand the reasons that caused the divorce and help all family members learn how they can cope with all the challenges that come with the transition.

Death

A death in the family is something else that can transform a family. If someone significant in the family dies, it can affect how the family operates. Financial decisions and other decisions are now left up in the air. Also, there is the grief that comes with death. A counselor can talk to children and help them make sense of the idea of death. They can also help the family by figuring out ways to process the death – whether expected or not – and move on together.

Financial struggles

As hard as it is to admit, financial changes can significantly transform a family, often in negative ways. If someone has been providing for a family and loses their job, it can be hard for them to function. Poor finances can make a family feel like they're falling apart. When you’re not sure how you’ll pay the utility bills, purchase groceries, or make the rent, that means you’re potentially not meeting the most basic of your and your family’s human needs. It is understandable to feel considerable stress in these instances, and a family counselor can help you create a plan for managing finances and ensuring everyone’s needs are met.

Mental health concerns

Treating someone with mental health issues requires patience and love, but being patient isn't always easy. It can be hard to live with someone whose mood disorder results in feeling like you need to walk on eggshells around that person. If someone in the family is living with an addiction to alcohol, they may also become angry and act cruelly to their loved ones. It is imperative to get support for these kinds of issues before they lead to potential violence. If you or anyone you know is experiencing domestic violence, you can reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline website or call them directly at 800-799-7233. 

Communication problems

Miscommunication is a big reason why many relationships fall apart. You may feel like, as a family, you are all on the same wavelength; however, other family members may disagree. You can miscommunicate in different ways. For example, you ask someone to do the chores, and they misinterpret your request as something else. Whatever the case may be, communication issues are hard, and by learning how to communicate better, your relationship can improve.

Addictions

Drug or alcohol addiction can change the family dynamic. If someone is spending all their money on drugs or alcohol, it can impact your finances. Someone who is addicted starts to change, and it can erode their mental health. They may change their personality or their habits to enable their addiction. Some family members may enable the person with an addiction while others may be oblivious or antagonistic toward the person. A family counselor will explain addiction in a way that all family members can understand and explore how each person can maintain their own mental wellbeing when a loved one has an addiction.

Behavioral issues

If you have children, they are going to change. For example, a child who is growing into a teenager may change in mood. They may be more rebellious, and this can cause drama in the family. A counselor explains why these changes happen and what you can do to reach a compromise. Don't treat your changing child as your enemy, but instead as someone who needs care and understanding. Every behavior represents a communication – when your teenager or child is acting out, what do you think they need that they aren’t able to articulate in the moment?

Sibling rivalries

It's okay for siblings to have rivalries. Living in such close proximity and having to share different resources (like clothes) and attention (from parents and other family members) inevitably means that there will be tension, in the least, and frequent conflict, at worst.

It is natural for there to be some competition among siblings, but a problem arises when the siblings fight so frequently and with such intensity that it impacts how they behave. For example, siblings who are always trying to one-up each other may end up causing damage by taking things too far. A counselor can help promote a healthy rivalry and show the benefits of getting along as opposed to pushing against one another. You can go online or ask friends about child counseling.

Academic issues

If your child or multiple children are having problems in school, it's difficult not to blame someone, be it your teacher, your child, or your kid’s peers. However, you should realize that in most cases, behaviors stem from a combination of all of the above. Your child may have an undiagnosed learning disability or mental health condition like ADHD, as well, which both can impact a youth’s ability to focus, retain information, and thrive in a typical learning environment.

A child therapist can help you fix this problem by studying your child and looking for the cause. The cause may be right under your nose, or it can take a long time for you to figure out. Either way, you can be able to help your child succeed in school.

Miscellaneous goals

Sometimes, a therapist isn't there just for people who have dilemmas or other issues. Sometimes, a counselor can help the family that wants to be a little more motivated. 

Maybe the entire family is seeking to come up with a fun exercise routine or learn ways to fill their time with activities outside of scrolling through social media and watching television. Some families may be planning to transition in and out of home-schooling, or set off on a year-long adventure to live as digital nomads while they travel across the country in a converted van. There are truly so many pursuits where a family therapist can be beneficial, and your family doesn’t have to be going through a significant conflict or mental health crises to reap the benefits of family therapy.

Finding the right therapist for the job

Depending on your residential area, finding an effective family therapist may be more or less difficult. As you are searching for a compatible family therapist, you may want to take these suggestions into consideration:

• A good therapist is someone who will not take sides. Instead, they'll try to look at all angles and find the happy medium that satisfies all parties. If a therapist makes you feel like you're being ganged upon, then you should probably speak to another therapist.
• A good family therapist will be available when you need them. Meanwhile, an ineffective therapist will ignore your requests for help and never be there for you. If your therapist is always canceling appointments, making excuses not to meet, and just ignoring you, you may want to talk to someone else.
• Family therapy should not feel like a chore. Instead, it should feel like something that is an adventure or a goal you’re motivated to reach. You want to treat yourself and feel better and not feel like you're wasting time. A good therapist is someone who will make the return to therapy worth it.

Have you considered speaking to an online family therapist? Doing so may make the most sense for your family’s particular situation. For example, families wanting to reconcile relationships with estranged members may be able to participate from far away locations. In other situations, divorced family members and their children can participate in online family therapy from difficult time zones or cities.

MyTherapist is a great option for learning more about family therapy. The online counselor platform enables you to schedule virtual sessions at convenient times. You can even text your therapist if you find yourself needing help at the moment. Online family therapy has also been shown to be effective in resolving myriad problems. According to the International Association of Marriage and Family Counselors, 57% of families who utilized online therapy felt that the interventions were successful, compared to only 42% of those who took part in face-to-face therapy.

Takeaway

If you need help with your family or need individual help, there is no shame in talking to a counselor to improve your life. By seeking help, you admit that you or your family has a challenge, and you're willing to resolve it. This is a good thing and can benefit you in so many ways, such as helping you to realize that sometimes, you're closer to your family than you think, or that there are better ways to approach conflict. Most issues are fixable, and should you feel that your family would benefit from the guidance of a compassionate, professional therapist, you can reach out to a licensed counselor at MyTherapist.