How To Find A Marriage Counselor Near Me (Or Nearby You)
Updated April 15, 2021
Medically Reviewed By: Dawn Brown
Wondering, "Where to Find A Marriage Counselor Near Me"?
Marriage counseling can be a life-changer. If your marriage is in trouble, a counselor can flip your marriage around and make you feel like a newlywed couple again. However, finding a good marriage counselor close by can be difficult. You want one who you don't have to travel to, and this can be rather troublesome.
With that said, finding a good one is worth it. A marriage counselor can help repair your marriage, even if you feel like there's no way to fix it.
There is No Shame in Seeking Help From A Marriage Counselor
When some think of a marriage counselor, they may imagine a couple who is about to end their relationship but is still desperately trying to fix their problems. However, this is not the case with many counseling situations. Some couples who work well with each other may seek counseling because they want to maintain their relationship and sort out any problems before they rear their ugly heads. Other people may go to counseling to resolve one issue of their marriage, such as miscommunication.
Even couples who are on the rocks can turn their marriage around. Sometimes, they may end up terminating their marriage, but do it in a graceful manner that makes it much better than if it blew up in their faces.
Here are a few problems that a marriage counselor can fix:
- Miscommunications. Many times, a marriage may fail because both parties are not communicating enough or are miscommunicating. Miscommunication can cause an upset, leading to a fight and then the end of a marriage. A therapist can look at your miscommunications and figure out why the two of you are not on the same page.
- Bottled up emotions. If someone about your spouse irritates you, you may keep it quiet to keep the peace. However, these emotions may build up over time, and you may explode. As a result, damaging the relationship. You must tell your partner what's wrong, and a counselor can help you explain your grievances in a way that won't make the spouse mad with you.
- Financial troubles. Many marriages end because of financial issues. For example, if one spouse is spending more than the other spouse wants, there may be a debate because of this, leading to divorce. Someone with financial issues needs to talk to a therapist and figure out how to budget and come to a spending compromise. Other times, financial issues may come because of a budget shift, such as losing a job.
- Finding a middle ground in an argument. It's so hard for people to stop arguing that everyone wants to be right. They want to get the last word in. They are not interested in logic but instead wanting to one-up the other spouse. This is not how you should argue. Conflict is natural in a relationship. It's how you manage the important conflict. If you are shouting at each other, then you are not properly managing a conflict. Instead, you should learn to manage the conflict by keeping a cool head and trying to reach an agreement that both of you will agree on.
- Troubles with how you raise your kids. If the couple has children, they may have disagreements on how the child should be raised. Some parents will want to be a strict parent, while others want their child to breathe a little bit. A relationship counselor can help both of you raise your child in a way that will benefit the child the most.
Ask For Recommendations
Odds are, you know, other couples. You may not realize that they, too, have gone through relationship counseling. Some couples may look like people who are happy all the time, but they may have their demons. Some of the worst-off couples keep their dirty laundry private and have been going through therapy for a while. You may be surprised at how many couples seek therapy when you ask. As it turns out, you're not alone. Many are struggling.
If you ask about therapy, you may be surprised to learn who is going through counseling and what they can recommend for you.
Read Some Reviews
You can find a marriage counselor who is right for you to look some up and read their reviews. You can more than likely find reviews for any therapist you can imagine, and this can allow you to see whether or not they're right for you. Sometimes, the reviews may come from people who didn't listen to the counselor, so you need to be mindful when reading the reviews.
Look To Your Church
If you are religious, your church may have counseling solutions for couples. Many pastors offer to counsel based on the biblical idea of marriage. Other times, they may offer religious counseling services outside the church. These can allow you to fix your marriage through the lens of your faith.
See If Your Insurance Covers Counseling
Sometimes, you can look to your health insurance provider and see if they offer therapy. While you may think insurance does not cover couples' therapy, they can sometimes offer therapy to be used as marriage counseling. You can also look at your job and see if they offer therapy sessions.
Interview The Therapist
If you find a therapist, don't begin right away. Instead, talk to them to see if their style of therapy is suited for what you need. There can be a good therapist whose style isn't right for your marriage. A few questions you can ask include:
- What is your success rate? How many clients would you say are satisfied? Can you give examples without naming names?
- What is your opinion about relationships? Do you think there are many solutions to a relationship, or just one? A therapist who believes marriage only has one solution may not be right for you.
- What will our first issue to be tackled be? How will you help us solve it?
- What will you focus on? Will you focus on our past, our present, or our future? Therapists solve problems in different ways. Some will look at past trauma to figure out how to solve the present. Others will want to fix the problems in there here and now. Some will want to prevent things from happening in the future. Therapists may use a combination of all these.
- How determined are you to fix our marriage? Will you tell us our marriage is unfixable after a bit? A good therapist will be one who will try to fix your marriage no matter what. Some marriages are indeed irreparable, but this is a small minority. Most people are capable of changing for the better, despite what many may believe.
- If your solutions aren't working, how would you fix this? Will you try another solution, keep trying this solution, or give up? A good therapist should try a variety of solutions to solve the problem.
A good therapist should answer all these questions, while a therapist who does not know what they are doing will not answer any of them.
Whenever you go to therapy, you and your spouse should feel comfortable. A therapist should not take sides but instead try to help both. A marriage counselor will not dogpile you or rush your relationship. Sometimes, a therapist may not be doing it on purpose, so make sure you're communicating to your therapist and telling them whether or not something is making you feel uncomfortable.
While an argument may be the fault of one side, a therapist can make you realize this without making you feel like the bad guy or making you feel like you're overwhelmed.
Find a Therapist Who Cares
There are a few other red flags that may occur whenever you're at your early therapy sessions. These flags can make you feel like you're not being cared for, and you should switch therapists immediately. A few red flags include:
- Showing up late for your appointments. While life can get in the way, a therapist should not be late constantly.
- Always looking at the clock.
- Taking calls during therapy
- Ending your therapy sessions unusually early.
- Canceling your appointments
There's a difference between mistakes happening and your therapist blatantly not caring about your problems. By finding a therapist who does care, you can be able to solve your problems much better.
If you're having problems in your relationship, seek a marriage counselor. You can find a counselor right for you through online counseling, which is great for couples on a tight schedule. Every couple deserves to be happy.
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