How To Find A Marriage Counselor Near You

Updated June 18, 2024by MyTherapist Editorial Team
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Marriage counseling can be a life-changer. If your , a counselor can flip your marriage around and make you feel like a newlywed couple again. However, if you want to stay local and not travel too far to visit a therapist, finding a good marriage counselor can be difficult—especially if you don't live in a highly populated area. 

That said, finding a good therapist is worth it. A marriage counselor can help repair your marriage, even if you may start off feeling like there's no way to fix it.

Keep reading to discover the best way to find the right marriage counselor for you and your partner.

How a marriage counselor can help

When some think of a marriage counselor, they may imagine a couple who is about to end their relationship but is still desperately trying to fix the problems between them. However, this is not the case with all counseling situations between married people. Some couples who work well with each other may seek counseling because they want to maintain their relationship, gain some new relationship techniques, or sort out problems they see on the horizon. Other couples may go to counseling to resolve one issue of their marriage, such as miscommunication.

Even couples who are on the rocks can turn their marriage around. Sometimes, a couple may end up separating or divorcing, but do it in a graceful manner that makes it much better than if everything blew up around them beforehand.

Here are a few problems that a marriage counselor may be able to help a couple fix:

Miscommunications

Many times, a marriage may fail because both parties are not communicating enough or are miscommunicating. Miscommunication can cause an upset, leading to fights and then, if things get out of hand, the end of a marriage may ensue. A therapist can look at your miscommunications and figure out why the two of you are not on the same page.

Bottled up emotions

If something about your spouse irritates you, you may keep it quiet to keep the peace. However, these emotions can build up over time, and one day, you may explode, resulting in damage to the relationship. You must tell your partner what's wrong, and a counselor can help you explain your grievances in a constructive way.

Financial troubles

Many marriages end because of financial issues. For example, if one spouse is spending more than the other spouse wants, there may be a debate because of this, leading to divorce. A couple with financial issues can talk to a therapist and figure out how to budget and come to a spending compromise. Other times, financial issues may come because of a budget shift, such as losing a job, and a therapist can offer strategies for dealing with the situation.

Finding a middle ground in an argument 

Many people find it hard to resolve an argument when their goal is to be right or to get the last word in. They are not interested in logic but instead want to one-up their partner. This is not how you should argue. Conflict is natural in a relationship. It's how you manage the conflict that's important. If you are shouting at each other, then you are not properly managing a conflict. Instead, a counselor can teach you how to manage the conflict by keeping a cool head and trying to reach an agreement that both of you can live with.

Differing parenting styles

If a couple has children, they may have disagreements on how the child should be raised. Some parents will want to be strict, while others want their child to breathe a little bit. If you are searching for a counselor because of family issues, a relationship counselor can help both of you raise your child in a way that you can both agree with—and in a way that will benefit the child.

Locating a good marriage counselor 

As stated above, it can be tricky finding just the right counselor for you and your partner. The following are some things to consider when searching for a marriage counselor.

Ask for recommendations

Odds are, you know other couples. You may not realize that they, too, have gone through relationship counseling. Some couples may look like people who are happy all the time, but they may have their share of troubles. You might be surprised at how many couples seek therapy when you ask. You're not alone. Many couples are struggling.

Ask around. If you discover that one of your married friends has been to therapy, go ahead and ask if they recommend their counselor.

Read some reviews

You can find a marriage counselor who is right for you by reading their online reviews. You may start with searching for a question like, "Is there affordable counseling near me?" You are likely to find reviews for most of the therapists who appear in your search results, and this can allow you to see whether or not they're right for you. Sometimes, the reviews may come from people who didn't listen to the counselor, so you need to be mindful when reading the reviews. Take negative reviews with a grain of salt, paying attention to what any complaints are actually about.

Look to your church

If you are religious, your church may have counseling solutions for couples. Many pastors offer to counsel based on the biblical idea of marriage. Other times, they may offer religious counseling services outside the church. These can allow you to fix your marriage through the lens of your faith.

See if your insurance covers counseling

Sometimes, you can look to your health insurance provider and see if they offer therapy. While you may think insurance does not cover couples therapy, some companies may, in fact, cover some or all of the cost. They may also be able to make recommendations on a therapist to check out.

Interview the therapist

Once you find a therapist who looks promising, don't begin right away. Instead, talk to them to see if their style of therapy is suited for what you and your partner need. You might have located a good therapist whose style isn't right for your marriage. A few questions you can ask include:

  • What is your success rate? How many clients would you say are satisfied? Can you give examples without naming names?
  • What is your opinion about relationships? Do you think there are many solutions to a problem in a relationship or just one? A therapist who believes marriage only has one solution may not be right for you.
  • What is often the first issue a couple asks for your support with? How do you suggest this issue be solved?
  • What will you focus on? Will you focus on our past, our present, or our future? Therapists solve problems in different ways. Some will look at past trauma to figure out how to solve the present. Others will want to fix the problems in the here and now. Still others will want to prevent things from happening in the future. Many therapists will use a combination of all these.
  • How determined are you to fix our marriage? Will you tell us our marriage is unfixable after a reasonable amount of time? A good therapist will be one who will try to fix your marriage no matter what. Some marriages are indeed irreparable, but this is a small minority. Most people are capable of changing for the better, despite what many may believe.
  • If your solutions aren't working, how would you fix this? Will you try another solution, keep trying this solution, or give up? A good therapist should try a variety of solutions to solve the problem.

If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.

A good therapist should answer all these questions in a way that matches your thinking, while a therapist who does not know what they are doing may not answer them to your satisfaction.

Feel comfortable

Whenever you go to therapy, you and your spouse should feel comfortable. A therapist should not take sides but instead try to help both of you. A marriage counselor should not offer too many suggestions off the bat or rush your relationship. Sometimes, a therapist may not be doing this on purpose, so make sure you're communicating with your therapist and telling them whether or not something is making you feel uncomfortable.

While an argument may be the fault of one side, a therapist can make you realize this without making you feel like the bad guy or making you feel like you're overwhelmed.

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Therapy can be healing and teach you coping techniques

Find a therapist who cares

There are a few other red flags that may occur whenever you're at your early therapy sessions. These flags can make you feel like you're not being cared for, and you should switch therapists immediately. A few red flags include:

  • Showing up late for your appointments. While life can get in the way, a therapist should not be late constantly.
  • Always looking at the clock.
  • Taking calls during therapy
  • Ending your therapy sessions unusually early.
  • Canceling your appointments

There's a difference between mistakes happening and your therapist blatantly not caring about your problems. By finding a therapist who does care, you will be able to solve your problems much more successfully.

Takeaway

If you're having problems in your relationship, it may be time to seek out a marriage counselor. You might be able to find a counselor who's right for you through online counseling, which is great for couples on a tight schedule. Appointments can be scheduled at a time that works for everyone, and they can take place from the comfort of home or anywhere you have an internet connection.

Regain is an online therapy platform designed to help those who are in relationships. You can sign up for one-on-one counseling or meet with a therapist as a couple. Regain's licensed therapists are relationship experts and can guide you no matter what your situation is. Whether you want to deepen and maintain a working relationship or solve a problem in a rocky relationship, Regain is here to help.

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