Reality Therapy And How Can It Help You
Reality therapy is one of many mental health treatments designed to help people with psychological and behavioral challenges. Read on to discover what reality therapy is and how it could benefit you.
Reality therapy: The basics
Reality therapy was first developed in 1965 by American psychiatrist William Glasser, author of several books on this concept and using it in educational settings. Glasser believed that mental illness arose due to a person’s inability to fulfill their essential needs. However, unlike many other forms of therapy, reality therapy does not delve into a person’s past or unconscious mind. Instead, it approaches mental illness in terms of what Glasser called the three Rs of psychiatry: responsibility, realism, and right vs. wrong actions.
Reality therapy might sound like it involves confronting the patient with a dose of reality, but this is not so. Instead, it focuses on how a person’s fantasy life can divert them from real-world choices they need to make. In the 1970s and the following decades, Glasser and other reality therapy practitioners expanded this concept to include two other ideas called ‘control theory’ and ‘choice theory.’ These ideas stress that each person has the potential for self-determination and the capacity to choose how to act in the future. In addition, this idea holds the individual responsible for determining how to behave, think, and feel.
Reality therapy and choice theory
Choice theory is an extension of reality theory first proposed by practitioner Christine Shanahan in 1995. Many people use the two terms interchangeably. The core of choice theory is that each individual can choose to decide how to act and hold themselves accountable for their actions. In addition, choice theory explores how people strive to control their world to meet their needs.
In choice theory, the behaviors we engage in are central to our existence. These choices arise from basic human needs, including the need for survival, the desire to be loved and belong to something greater than ourselves, and a desire for freedom, fun, and power. We pursue and accomplish these needs in many ways.
Another theme of choice theory is the concept of a ‘quality world.’ We imagine our quality world to be the perfect world where we have the best relationships, possessions, and lifestyles. Each individual’s quality world is different, depending on many factors.
The conceptualization of our ideal world begins at birth and continues through life. We unconsciously put stock into role models, possessions, and values such as religion and culture. Reality therapy also has another concept known as a ‘comparing place.’ We compare what we see in other people to our ideal image of them. These are the components that create our quality world concept.
Then, there is behavior. Behavior is how you think, act, and feel. We have quite a bit of control over our behaviors, but there are still some we can’t choose. How we think dramatically affects the choices we consciously and unconsciously make and our behavior.
Glasser concluded that much unhappiness comes from failed relationships with spouses, family, friends, and colleagues. Glasser suggested that unhappiness from failed relationships could cause mental illness for some. Choice theory proposes that mental illness is another way to express unhappiness.
Reality therapy and Choice Theory include these ideas:
- We can only control our behavior and no one else’s.
- We all have the same basic five needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun.
- Our lives from birth to death consist of behaviors, including acting, thinking, feeling, and physiological functions.
- Language denotes behavior through verbs such as “I feel depressed.”
- We have control over our behaviors and thoughts and can indirectly control some bodily functions.
- All interaction involves exchanging information and nothing more.
- All enduring mental problems stem from relationships.
- Problem relationships are always part of life.
- The past shapes us, but focusing on the present is the only way to improve life outcomes.
What is reality therapy?
The essence of reality therapy is that human problems happen when our physical or psychological needs are not met, and only you can change your behavior to meet your needs. Some people try to change others’ behavior, but it usually ends in frustration and failure.
Many forms of therapy look at the past extensively, seeking how it affects the present. However, reality therapy focuses on current issues instead of a person’s history. The point of reality therapy is to solve the here and now. Focusing on the present helps people solve immediate problems and figure out which needs are not getting attention and how to fulfill them healthily.
Basic human needs include:
Power
When one thinks of power, fame or money might come to mind. However, power in this context can mean any accomplishment, along with a sense of self-worth and self-agency.
Love and belonging
Everyone needs a place to belong. Some people feel belonging with their family or local community. Others feel belonging through friendships and work relationships.
Freedom
Freedom in reality therapy is more than doing whatever you want. Instead, it focuses on a person’s need for personal space and independence.
Fun
We all want entertainment and pleasure sometimes, and the need for fun is seen as a fundamental need in reality therapy.
Survival
Survival involves our basic needs of food, water, shelter, and also the fulfillment of sexual pleasure.
The struggle to meet these needs is the central core of reality therapy. For example, often, someone who is feeling bad does not have all of their five needs met. Sometimes, it is the person’s thoughts preventing fulfillment of needs. Other times, it is their actions that need to change.
How the therapeutic process works
Reality therapy involves the person looking at their present rather than their past for answers. The most essential concern is finding out what you need to be satisfied in the present and then making changes in your behavior to attain this goal. Your symptoms are not the main focus of this therapy, but your needs and how to change behaviors to fulfill them.
You may learn what unmet needs you have and how your choices and behaviors can affect what you need. Exploring this topic can help people discover what they can change and what they should leave alone and accept. In addition, this process can help you create a plan to satisfy your needs and without blaming others. In reality therapy, you are the one who improves yourself and your relationships. No one else can do it for you, according to this approach.
What a therapist does
Therapists and clients need to feel rapport for most forms of therapy to work, and a friendly connection is vital in reality therapy, as interpersonal relationships are a significant area of focus. The person in reality therapy can also use their relationship with the therapist as a springboard to form other relationships: While you form a bond with your therapist, you learn how to make healthy relationships outside of your counseling session. You accomplish this by looking at your behaviors and modifying them.
How reality therapy is applied
Reality therapy can be applied in many different ways, including individual therapy, family therapy, group therapy, and classroom settings. Reality therapy can help with issues affecting one’s behavior because once you believe you are responsible for yourself, you have the core tool for improving your life in the future.
Problems with reality therapy
Reality therapy is a recognized form of mental health treatment used by counselors working with school children in military families and many other settings. However, as with any form of therapy, there are going to be limitations. For example, the exact effectiveness of reality therapy is unknown because only a few studies have been done, and more are needed to examine results across diverse social and cultural boundaries. Nonetheless, many therapists and their clients feel that reality therapy has helped them improve problematic behaviors.
One drawback of reality therapy could be for people who need to talk about and examine their past because this form of treatment does not do that. However, some people benefit from talking about and resolving past experiences, and these people are likely to find a different form of therapy more effective than reality therapy.
Finding a reality therapist online
Reality therapy is a form of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and many online therapists offer CBT to their clients via online video chat, phone calls, and text messaging. Multiple research studies have validated online therapy as an effective treatment approach for many mental health conditions, including behavioral problems, anxiety, depression, and trauma recovery. In addition, some online therapists specialize in the reality therapy method, and online therapy platforms let you search for practitioners matching your criteria.
If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.
Takeaway
Frequently asked questions (F.A.Q.)
What is reality therapy?
A type of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), reality therapy operates on the premise that when we use unhealthy behaviors to try and meet our fundamental needs of survival, freedom, fun, love and belonging, and power, this results in broken relationships and broken or disconnected relationships are what causes long-lasting mental health conditions. What we do and how we think are in our direct or indirect control. Our behavior affects how we feel and our physiology. To break the cycle of damaging and repairing relationships, we must change our behavior and approach to meeting our needs. We do this by taking responsibility for our actions, developing a plan to reconnect with others, and generating a new perspective on life. A reality therapist often uses these techniques in family therapy settings.
What are the principles of reality therapy?
The principles of reality therapy are slightly different than other therapies. In reality therapy, the relationship between our behavior and broken relationships are causal. Our controllable behavior dictates the wellness of our relationships, and basic needs dictate behavior. To meet our needs, we may behave positively or negatively. Reality therapy focuses on unhealthy behaviors that do not fulfill our needs, taking responsibility for our behaviors and transforming them into positive behaviors. This approach can be effective in family therapy, particularly when the therapist uses it to address broken relationships within the family.
What is reality therapy used to treat?
Reality therapy is a particular type of therapy used to treat many issues in individual and family therapy, including eating disorders, addiction, codependence, anxiety, anger, depression, etc. A reality therapist uses a here-and-now approach to address the behaviors contributing to these issues and disorders on an individual or family level. By focusing on choice theory, reality therapy empowers individuals living with these conditions to make healthier choices regarding their behavior.
What is the difference between Choice Theory and Reality Therapy?
Choice theory and reality therapy are almost identical, and reality therapy is the application of choice theory. Therefore, a reality therapist may refer to this treatment approach as choice therapy, reality therapy, choice theory, or reality behavior therapy. Reality therapy and choice theory cannot be separated when used to implement here-and-now strategies with the client.
What are the three Rs of reality therapy?
Of the different therapy types, reality therapy focuses on the three R’s: Realism, responsibility, and right vs. wrong. A reality therapist will focus on these concepts instead of the mental disorder or associated symptoms during a client’s treatment.
What is the main goal of reality therapy?
Choice theory and reality therapy focus on taking responsibility for one’s behavior. Based on choice theory, reality therapy has the goal of understanding behaviors as responses to unfulfilled needs and that negative behaviors can cause broken relationships. The aim of reality therapy is to replace negative behaviors with positive ones to fulfill our basic needs. In this respect, reality therapy and choice theory have the same goals.
What are the strengths and weaknesses of reality therapy?
Reality therapy works well in some classrooms, individual, and family therapy settings. It can help clients identify broken relationships within their family structure and teach them how to replace negative behavior with positive behavior to form better connections. However, reality therapy might not be appropriate for people who need to explore past events and memories as part of their healing process.
Is reality therapy a long-term approach?
Applying the principles of reality therapy to your life can become a long-term approach to keep relationships healthy and satisfy needs. However, a person or family might only need a few sessions with a therapist to make progress.
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This article provides general information and does not constitute medical or therapeutic advice. Mentions of diagnoses or therapy/treatment options are educational and do not indicate availability through MyTherapist in your country.