Finding An Online Dating Coach And How They Can Help You

If you're single and wondering why you're still on the market and not able to find a suitable mate, have you ever considered trying an online dating coach? Today's online dating coaches are available online and throughout the day to provide you with insights on how to get to know your date, make a great impression, and quell any nerves about going on a blind date or first date. You deserve the chance to find happiness through love, and an online therapist can be a discreet and helpful guide in your endeavor!

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Dating coaches can help you improve dating communication skills

Build confidence in online therapy

What do dating coaches do?

Today's virtual dating coaches are licensed, trained professionals who specialize in helping individuals and couples build lasting relationships. When you do an internet search for "online dating coach near me,” what you'll likely find is a listing of certified professionals who provide behavioral health-related dating coach services online.

Dating coaches help individuals to look at their behaviors more objectively and learn what mistakes they've been making in intimate partnerships. Often, when relationships end, we may blame our former partner instead of looking at the role we played in the dissolution of the relationship. If you're repeatedly finding yourself in the midst of failing relationships and, for example, your exes all cite the same reasons for ending things with you, it could definitely be worthwhile to at least set up an initial consultation with a dating coach.

It is understandable if you feel nervous about the idea of contacting a dating coach; just know that dating coaches do not want to judge or blame you for the negative outcomes in your relationships. Awareness is key. Looking at the relationship objectively from many perspectives can serve as a learning opportunity that helps existing couples grow closer together and new couples start off well in their relationship.

When you know which of your behaviors turn off potential partners (i.e., constantly interrupting, avoiding vulnerability, or getting defensive when broaching certain topics), you can make better choices. Dating coaches are there to teach you how to make better decisions when it comes to your intimate and romantic relationships. They will lovingly but firmly point out your potential blind spots or patterns that don’t resonate well with others and show you different ways to change undesirable behaviors.

People who are serious about making a long-term or lifetime commitment to a selected partner or spouse may combine dating coaching services with matchmaking services to create a total dating solution. Individuals can use matchmaking services to connect themselves with potential partners that are more likely to be successful matches after learning important intimate details about themselves and their desired partner during their dating coaching sessions.

What topics will you discuss with an online dating coach?

When you’re in discussion with a dating coach, there are few limitations to what topics you can discuss. More than likely, you’ll go over your personal dating preferences, relationship history, and current concerns. After gathering an initial profile, your dating coach may make recommendations, which you can ignore or proceed in trying. Below are just a few of the topics you might talk about with your licensed dating coach.

Dating preferences and deal breakers

What kind of mate do you want to have by your side? What do you find physically and emotionally attractive? Understanding your dating preferences and dealbreakers (things you will not tolerate in a relationship) will go a long way towards finding (and keeping) your best fit. Knowing your preferences can give you a starting point for your dating pool that can be adjusted and tweaked until you find your best fit.

While it is understandable that certain things may turn you off or immediately cause you to think, “There’s no way I can have a relationship with that person,” dating coaches will generally advise you to limit your dealbreakers, citing that the more rules you have, the harder it may be to be happy. No one is perfect, and you’re not likely to find someone who checks every single box on your list. That said, a dating coach can focus on a few key aspects that are very important to you and give suggestions for attracting those people to your social sphere.

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Sex and intimacy

Be prepared to talk about sex and intimacy with a dating coach, as this is integral to many people’s relationship satisfaction. You may discuss your preferred love languages (i.e., physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time) regarding how you like to receive and give love. It could be that you are showing love in the way you like to receive it, but your previous partners don’t value that language as much as you do.

Sometimes, people experience difficulty dating because they have had previous traumatic experiences which lead them to erect barriers between themselves and others. If you have experienced sexual or physical assault or emotional abuse in a previous core relationship, it is important to share these details with your dating coach. You may benefit from healing individually before you set out to find a compatible partner.

If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse or any form of violence, know that you can reach out discreetly to the National Domestic Violence Hotline website or call the 24/7 number at 800-799-7233. Concerned and qualified practitioners are available to offer immediate support.

Dating history

When you meet with a dating coach, you’ll almost certainly discuss your previous dating history. How many long-term relationships have you had as an adult? What caused the end of your most recent relationship(s)? How do you and your ex-spouse do with co-parenting, if applicable? What general patterns or trends do you notice in the type of people you attract or reasons for ending a relationship?

Again, remember that your dating coach is not going to judge you. It doesn’t matter if you’ve had sex with thousands of people or have never had a monogamous, committed relationship – your dating coach will meet you where you are with empathy and understanding. The more honest you can be about your dating history and patterns, the more helpful your dating coach can be.

Criminal history

Due to the recent popularity of television shows like Love After Lockup, criminal history is another topic that needs to be addressed when choosing to say "I do" or "I don't" long-term. Have you or your partner had issues with the law in the past? Have you served time for a previous DUI or felony? Perhaps you have no criminal history, but for some reason, you tend to feel attraction to people who end up sharing details about their crimes.

Understandably, many people may be fearful or ashamed to admit their past crimes to a potential partner or even a dating coach. There is nothing wrong with you if you find yourself attracted to people with a criminal background, though this is certainly a pattern that your dating coach will want to explore with you. Just because you have committed a crime in the past does not mean you are unworthy of love. In fact, some people can be genuinely captivated by hearing a person’s story about how they made a big mistake and worked hard to make things right and grow as a person.

Financial history

How much does income matter for you when choosing a partner? Do you tend to be the breadwinner in your relationships? What about someone’s spending habits – are these important to you when considering whether to deepen a relationship?

Many of the topics that seem to be taboo to bring up in the dating world are the topics that matter to a relationship's longevity. If you're afraid to ask your current partner or potential long-term partner the important questions, this is a sign that speaks volumes about your relationship.

When meeting with a dating coach, prepare to talk about things like your desire to buy a home, how much money you spend on needs versus wants, and to what extent debt impacts your lifestyle. If you have previous dealbreakers around money, your dating coach may pose questions designed to help you explore those dealbreakers in depth.

For example, what would you do if you found the love of your life – someone you are compatible with in generally every way possible – but they will likely be paying off student loans for the rest of their working years? Again, your dating coach wants to prompt you to think deeply and understand how your own dealbreakers might be preventing you from attracting an amazing partner.

Family history

There’s at least one thing all of your former partners have in common – they grew up with a family. Of course, the definition of family varies widely for people across the world, and that is okay. Your dating coach will likely ask about your personal family history – did you grow up with one or two parents? Were they married? Divorced? Remarried? How did they handle conflict in front of you and your siblings, if you had any? What kind of attachment did you have with one or both caregivers?

Knowing someone’s family history – especially their parent/child attachment styles – can be very helpful in understanding their dating experiences as adults. That is because we tend to replicate the same attachment styles with intimate partners as we did with our caregivers!

If you had an anxious attachment with a parent, for example, you may display signs of clinginess in your romantic endeavors. Have previous mates said that you tried to get too close too quickly? Do you text them incessantly if you don’t hear back within minutes? These behaviors are examples of anxious attachment styles, and they can be changed.

On the other hand, if you tend to retreat when you start to get close with someone or if you get irritated when it feels like you’re losing your independence, that could indicate signs of avoidant attachment. It is important to emphasize that there is nothing wrong with you if you have an anxious, avoidant, or even disorganized attachment. Our attachment styles can change from relationship to relationship, and it is possible to transform insecure attachment styles into secure ones.

Relationship role models

Have you ever looked at a romantic pair and thought, “Couple goals!” While the term may be new, it is likely that you have had relationship role models at some point in your life. Maybe your parents are your relationship models, or an aunt and uncle. Relationship role models don’t have to come from your family. Your best friends’ parents could be relationship role models, or even your best friend and their adult spouse.

Your dating coach may ask you to identify some relationship role models and explain what you admire about their dynamic. In doing so, you can zero in on the traits you’d like to embody and the behaviors you’d like to learn. The goal is not to become an exact copy of your relationship role model, but to have an exemplar for how to behave in a functional, healthy relationship.

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Dating coaches can help you improve dating communication skills

Build confidence in online therapy

I’m ready to work with a dating coach – where do I find one?

The point of relationship counseling is to facilitate better communication with your internal self and externally with your partner so that your relationship can withstand setbacks and return to a place of understanding and balance when inevitable breaks in communication come up in your relationship. Before you pursue collaboration with a dating coach, know that the ultimate goal is not to find the perfect partner; rather, one of many goals is to improve communication.

By conducting a simple online search of “dating coaches in my area,” you may be able to find excellent professionals. For people with busier schedules or reservations about attending in-person dating counseling, know that there are plenty of online options. The benefit of choosing an online counseling platform like MyTherapist is that users can schedule virtual therapy sessions at convenient times and meet from discreet locations, such as home or office. You can even text your counselor directly while you are in the middle of a first date, if you feel like you could use a reminder of a strategy or a bit of encouragement.

Whether experiencing individually or as a couple, online couple relationship education can be extremely effective in improving overall relationship satisfaction. One 2022 meta-content review evaluated nine studies involving over 2,000 couples and compared the efficacy in improving functioning and communication for the involved couples. Evidence revealed that certain online programs were most effective in improving partners’ levels of commitment, confidence, and communication skills. At the same time, those who engaged in these online interventions also experienced reductions in anxiety, depression, anger, stress, and problematic alcohol use.

Takeaway

Does meeting with an online dating coach sound like the right step for you at this point? If so, congratulations! While doing something outside of your comfort zone and sharing intimate details about your relationship history can be nerve-wrecking, it may be the best way to discover what actions to take in order to attract a compatible partner. When you’re ready to improve your search for a loving partner by strengthening your communication skills, reach out to MyTherapist for compassionate, experienced support.

Finding An Online Dating Coach And How They Can Help You

Frequently asked questions

Do dating coaches really work?

What does a dating coach do?

Who is the best dating coach?

How much is a relationship coach?

How do I become an online dating consultant?

Do I need a relationship coach?

How do I find a date online?

Do people use dating coaches?
What do dating coaches charge?
What should be my criteria for a relationship coach?
How can a dating coach help me find the right person?
What is the typical length of treatment in relationship coaching?
When do you need a dating coach?

Finding An Online Dating Coach And How They Can Help You

Frequently asked questions

Do dating coaches really work?

What does a dating coach do?

Who is the best dating coach?

How much is a relationship coach?

How do I become an online dating consultant?

Do I need a relationship coach?

How do I find a date online?

Do people use dating coaches?What do dating coaches charge?What should be my criteria for a relationship coach?How can a dating coach help me find the right person?What is the typical length of treatment in relationship coaching?When do you need a dating coach?

Do people use dating coaches?
What do dating coaches charge?
What should be my criteria for a relationship coach?
How can a dating coach help me find the right person?
What is the typical length of treatment in relationship coaching?
When do you need a dating coach?